Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
God I need to hump something, right now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize