I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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