my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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