just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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