He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize