My brain says no but my pants say off.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish you could order shots online.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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