so that wasnt chicken after all
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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