Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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