Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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