brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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