either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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