3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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