I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize