Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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