He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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