I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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