i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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