Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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