Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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