How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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