And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize