dude i'm inner monologue high
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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