"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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