She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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