oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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