Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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