Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize