your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize