my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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