You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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