All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to have your abortion
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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