she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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