my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize