i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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