I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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