Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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