I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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