like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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