And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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