So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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