i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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