why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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