So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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