i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize