Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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