so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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