Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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