you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize