i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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