I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
